Kitty News

"I ONCE WAS DEAD"

Tears spurt down Chrockery Makerel's cheeks as he tells the amazing story of his survival.
"It was a normal January day in 2008, and I was toddling up the road in search of a dairy to buy some milk. I mean, how normal is that?"
The rest, however, is a horrifying tale. As Makerel walked out of the shop, handling three glass bottles, a human car ran over his back legs and tail, and another car hit in square on, flipping him into the air an a few metres back.
"It was so painful... I couldn't even cry it was that bad. Everything was slow and erratic, I couldn't hear properly. It was such a mess."
In the end a frail lady dragged him to the side of the road and called a Kitty Ambulance.
"It's such a shame I don't even know her name. She ran off after she called them."
In agony, Makerel waited for five exscruciating minutes before the Ambo's found him.
"They propped me up on a stretcher... then everything went black."
In the black moments, Makerel was technically dead, for his heart had stopped, he wasn't breathing and not responding. CPR for 15 minutes showed no signs of life. Then, he stirred and everything began to work.
Finally at the hospital, Makerel was wheeled into the operating theatre, where doctors worked on him for 9 hours, fixing his tail and legs, saving the failing organs. Five weeks after his ordeal, he was discharged.
"It gave me such a thrill to wealk out of that place alive, kids and wife on either side. But, I never get the milk."